Dirty Little Secrets

Dirty Little Secrets

   We walk down a long familiar hallway to a room our bodies frequent, and no matter the size, each of our rooms will have their darkened closets.  Upon opening its door, Bernoulli's breath blows as the skeletons sway a little dance of death. So my friend, how much does your closet hold?

    I prefer my mind to appear as a walk-in closet, with lots of room for baggage, and empty hangers, or as I call them "Henry's" after Henry VIII. He would appreciate something that hangs headless things.  The Henry's wait with the promise that they will reconcile with their loneliness and add but another pish to the posh. I guess if you're going to frolic with me in the wonderland of my mind you should at least know a few key things about me.  

    I am a smut-minded mix of type A & D personality, although if I were an A & D ointment, I wouldn't be able to help that rash on your ass. I'm not going to disclose my age because this lady wears fire-foxy gloves so yes, I do in fact have a vagina, which despite what penises or penes think, doesn't always help you out when you get pulled over...at all...ever.  Not that I'm dancing with the dogs, but the blood sucking ticks of the law like to taste my sweet broke flesh.  Broke you say?  Yeah, I don't currently have a boyfriend, but I'm getting fucked in the ass by Tuition.  He doesn't even tell me he loves me before he crams it in, but I can do nothing.  I am a student, a scholar and a shot caller.  I am a bartender WAHOO!  And honeys, I was here way before 50 Shades.  I plan on telling you some stories about my job, but I am not emphasizing on that here, this blog isn't about that, it's about me and what I feel like talking about.  I enjoy writing although I mainly take science classes at school.  I was encouraged by this hussy I know named Emily to express my mental wonders on those around me via blogger so here I am once bitten, twice shy.  I am single, no diaper shit clean ups in isle 5, but I have pets that I consider my children, and they would consist of two dogs and two cats, all boys.  I will showcase "The Chiltrens" soon. 

     I feel like I'm on a date with someone, candles lit, me singing Barry White while the neighborhood hounds throw out some background vocals because "I love to play all up in your hair."  In essence, we are speed dating right now.  You are checking this out deciding if you ever want to read me again.  Their blogs are so big and mine is the size of your pinky, but that pinky is packed full of intensity, obscenity, indecency...increasingly.

     Word of Warning:  In case you haven't noticed, my mouth is in the Navy and my mind is in the gutter so if you get easily offended, ummmmm yeah...well strap-on or in, it's going to be a bumpy ride full of Dirty Little Secrets...   (to be continued)